By now you have undoubtedly heard of John Mayer's latest round of foot bullets via his interview with Playboy Magazine where he talks, and talks and talks..... about Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, his supposed racist dick, endless masturbation, complete with a N*gger mention, all that has everyone on the “internets” and beyond in quite a tizzy.

John “apologized” first on Twitter, saying,

“It’s such a shame that I [used the N-word] because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged… I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again. I just wanted to play the guitar for people.”

and then again his teary “apology” on stage in Nashville last night.

I put “apology” in quotation marks because as you've noticed, of his whole interview he seems to be apologizing only for the N word mention, but not for any of the other equally stupid things he said in the interview, or the people he slammed in that interview.

Reading the JM's interview, I couldn't help thinking that John Mayer is basically a regular (not evil) horny douche guy with an unfortunate penchant toward hoof-in-mouth disease. 

Stupid? yes, to the highest degree, not because he is not intelligent, given his many other interviews you know he's got some intelligence, he just lacks a formal education that would have helped him phrase his thoughts differently, less inflammatory, less ridiculously or stupidly as he tries to “shock” or stay relevant.

Racist? I think not. We all have to agree that its ok for John to say he's not attracted to black women, its a preference of his and that's ok. He may have chosen the WORST way of expressing that thought, choosing to declare his dick a card carrying, certified member of the KKK but that doesn't make him wrong or discriminatory… in fact his whole interview left me thinking John has a serious inferiority complex with a lack of self awareness to know that and so over compensates by being overly sexualized and completely self absorbed.

As for the N*gger mention? his quote sounded to me more in same spirit/vein as Harry Reid‘s infamous “Obama lacks the negro dialect, hence will be nominated and will win” quote, inarticulate yes, but true and not derived from racism, in fact quite contrary, John actually had a point to make on the “hood pass” thing, he just didn’t phrase it the best way he could, and that said, did someone give John Mayer the hood pass and no black person knew about that?

John now says he's done with media/interviews and just wants to play his guitar, well, go do that son.. the whole “shock” thing is not working for ya.

Click below to see highlights from John Mayer's interview with Playboy or as we call it here, his latest foot bullet.

John Mayer, shirtless and all, graces the cover of Rolling Stone magazine on stands now, rolling off of his silver tongue is this:

His endless masturbation:

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself."

On the woman he's looking for:

Aren't we talking about a matrix of a couple of different things here? Like, you need to have them be able to go toe-to-toe with you intellectually. But don't they also have to have a vagina you could pitch a tent on and just camp out on for, like, a weekend? Doesn't that have to be there, too? The Joshua Tree of vaginas? …I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a fuck about it."

Jennifer Aniston

I've never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life… I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f—ing fantastic, if I said to her, ?I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”

So if you spell John Mayer backwards what do you find? Douchbag-zilla is what you'll find. As Lainey Gossip says…It’s not that John Mayer can’t find the right woman. It’s that every woman isn’t HIM. We couldn't agree more. 

Appears JM agrees with us that he's a douch… he read his own article in RS and here's what he had to say about it via his tweeter,

“Just read my Rolling Stone cover article. I'm still not sure if I would want to hang out with me”

he continued

“After 30 minutes of twirling my hair into a knot, I say "fuck it.” You can't go wrong if you tell the truth."

Which celeb female would you hook JM up with?