Dear Lady Gaga,

I know you NEED me exposed in the name of “art” to make money,… that is ridiculous, an oxymoron, if you ask me, I mean what happened to actual talent, substance and real artistry? A voice and real dancing to showcase your abilities? I digress, I have allowed you to do so on many occasions… with an agreement that you would gradually start using your booblets, exposing them more than me, they are small no doubt but Shakira manages to use them just the same… see… I am now filled with Mr. Yeast Infection due to your hideous Grammy Awards outfit that strangled the ehmm.. beans that should normally keep me safe, dry and clean, they couldn't breath you see… from both directions ..and now I am left feeling “unpretty” all itchy, stuffy and congested by Mr Yeast Infection. It's not cute, not fun or funny. Please stop.

Hugs & Kisses,

Your Crotch

PS: Your husband agrees with me ask him.