Submitted by Kas Report on Wed, 02/03/2010 - 21:19
Discuss: is daydreaming about a married man
bad if it will never turn to anything? And is it cheating?
Someone I just met related this story to me.
I have been seeing a guy for a while, its going
quite well, he's nice and all.
Recently a guy started working with me who's in my opinion HOT,
Even though I love my man, the last few months I've been
day-dreaming about the guy I work with; having real, very vivid
sexual dreams about him. I feel guilty because he is married
and has children, I have not said anything to him and he has
not either however I feel he knows and might be feeling
something too and flirting a little, I don't quite return the
flirtation I keep everything proffessional and have a strict
rule of NEVER ever sleeping with or having an affair with a
married man so this infatuation will never lead into anything.
The problem I have is how strong these feelings are that
have led to a momentary thought that I could leave my man for
the guy I work with.
I am full of guilt for dreaming about this married guy,
is this day-dreaming cheating?
Discuss: is daydreaming about a married man
bad if it will never turn to anything? And is it cheating?
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I don't think it's cheating at all. Most people find themselves attracted to others even though they may be in a long term and loving relationship.
However, that doesn't mean it can't be dangerous. Here's a thing to consider: most people aren't as good at lying/covering things up as they think they are. If you're fantasizing about a guy every night, you're also probably putting out subtle signals to him that you're into him. The problem is that, as hard as it is for us to control putting OUT those subtle signals, it's relatively easy for most people to pick up on them.
Also, by investing your daydreams in a fictional affair you run the risk of disengaging from your current relationship. People fall out of love gradually and all it takes is a moment of your heart's beat stolen every day. Think of visualization exercises people make you do to achieve your dreams; visualizing something helps you to come to terms with bad things and achieve the things you want. If you visualize this relationship enough, you'll disengage from your current relationship and be far more willing to make your fantasies come to life.
So no, the friend hasn't cheated yet and a daydream from time to time is harmless. However, it's advisable to distance herself from this guy if she values her current commitment.
Hi there, I dont know if I am writing in a proper board but I have got a problem with activation, link i receive in email is not working… http://www.kasreport.com/?…,
you make great points D, from this girls chat I gathered she's too far gone in her fantasy with the married man, either her man is too blind not to see or she's a pretty good actress I bet she's shown her cards by now…
However for me the big part of the story was on fantasizing about someone else… Men are able to do that while “doin it” with their significant other, do women do that and have it not mean anything?
If a man found there significant other fantasizing about another man would they care?
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